This is a pep talk to myself (It’s only crazy if you answer yourself…right?). Currently I am a RN. My specialties are ER and ICU, I’ve seen a lot and learned even more. I am grateful to have a job others aspire to be, but becoming a doctor has always been my goal. Medicine will forever be my passion but somewhere along the way I lost my drive. I’ve been through multiple rejections and disappointments with this process. It got to a point where my family and friends believed in me more than I believed in myself. I know I’ll excel in medical school, that’s not the issue. The issue for me has been getting in. Rejection is never a good feeling. So I became stagnant, avoiding anything to do with medicine. But no matter how hard I tried that love for medicine never went away. And it’s funny, more often times than not my patients would make suggestions of me going on to be a MD. When you’ve lost your way, God will even send strangers to keep you on your path. Everyone needs encouragement, even if you have to do it yourself. So Brittney stop making excuses and get back to it. It’s when you face opposition that you know you’re headed in the right direction, that’s the enemy trying to deter you from your destiny. So don’t give him the satisfaction, keep it moving. So you didn’t get into that school, get over it! That just means God has something greater in store. Don’t let that fear keep you from moving forward. “For God didn’t give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control.”– 2 Timothy 1:7 We all have something we need to overcome. For me it’s coming to grips with my reality. I’m not getting any closer to my goal by sulking. Time to make moves. Watch me work 😏
I dream about you often. And although I do not know who you are, I pray for your health and safety every night. Lord cover him from any harm or danger that the devil may plant in his direction. But more so I pray for your relationship with God. I pray that as your spiritual relationship grows that you are able to be led by him. A spiritual leader to lead our family and speak life into our children. I will stand by you as your wife with pride and be your strength when you are weak. For the greatest gift is love, and I promise to love you through our “highs” and more so through our “lows”. I pray that if you fall seven times that you will stand up for eight…a resilient man. Do not let this world deter you from your purpose in life. And when you do gather more fruit then you can carry, I pray that you give to those with bare hands…a giving man. Be a blessing to those around you. I pray that you have a voice to speak out for those that have no voice…a courageous man. One who uses his words to heal not hurt. I pray that you learn to forgive those who have intentionally hurt you…a forgiving man. Do not allow them to steal your joy. When the time comes for us to become one, let us always lift each other up in prayer and continue to grow together and not apart. Please forgive me in advance for any intentional and unintentional pain that I may cause. I ask that you teach me to be the wife that you need. Be patient with me. Until we meet…I will forever keep you in my prayers.
This was one of the things I use to struggle with. Not just with relationships but with everything in life, from jobs to living accommodations right down to the clothes I wear (and no its not because I’m a female, well maybe ). None the less it was something I never thought was a problem until my mom pointed out to me that I was “always running”. What exactly was I running from? I had no clue, it just became easy for me to leave even when things were going well. I struggled with becoming complacent. I wanted to have the best in life and accomplish so much that once I felt like I mastered something I moved on. Or so I thought, really it was just fear. So it took me some soul searching to truly find out where this started. Digging, digging, digging, ah yes! I found it the root of it all, dating all the way back to my childhood (this is what most therapist would say, but in my case it was actually true). So growing up we moved quite a bit, and by a bit I mean every year to every other year up until I went away to college. We were evicted from almost every place we lived and I never really had a place to call home. You know like what you see in the movies where everyone knows everyone…and the kids all go to the same grammar school and high school together. After a while I just never bothered to make friends because I knew we wouldn’t be there long. So here I was always on the move and always on the run. And so as an adult, the way I handled things was that I left when everything started to become comfortable before I was made to leave. My way of protecting myself from getting hurt. But see here is the thing about that, while I was so concerned about avoiding heartache I was also avoiding true happiness. I missed out on meaningful relationships and experiences because of this fear. Eventually I want to get married and have children, but there were things that I needed to work on as an individual before I could even begin to work on being emotionally involved with someone else. It took a lot of prayer and guidance to get me to the point I am today. So I say to you today, just live. While it sounds so simple it is probably one of the most difficult things to really do. Don’t think too much into how the story will end when you haven’t even gotten past the first chapter. I’m sure the most amazing part of your story will be somewhere in the middle. The surprises you never anticipated but will still be able to bring a smile to your face years later. Don’t be scared to try something new, and if it works, don’t question it. Embrace it. You can’t always run hunny, eventually you’ll tire out.
Where do I start? I find myself asking this question more than I care to really know the answer to. In relation to Life there are so many options. We have this thing called free will and while it’s a beautiful thing I sometimes feel that it’s a curse. God created these beautiful creatures of all different colors and textures and then he gave us free will. But when you actually take it in “FREE WILL”, it’s terrifying. This means that everything that presents to you in life, you have a choice on which path to take, and there will be many crossroads to come. This means when something goes terribly wrong in your life it’s probably because of a choice we made. So now we actually have to own up to being flawed. Well that has never been fun. Yes, it is scary but somehow even with the terrible choices we make, something beautiful forms with every mistake, every heartache, every wrong turn. What is it you ask? Lessons, and it is these lessons that shape and mold us into the people we are today and who we will become tomorrow. It shapes our characters, the people we will be to our family, friends, co-workers, and our spouses. No the process of becoming these amazingly wise people isn’t always fun but it is necessary. So this is my story, all my wrong turns, heartaches, and failures. I grew up on the Southside of Chicago in low-socioeconomical neighborhoods. We were evicted almost every year but my parents went above and beyond to take care of 4 children with less than 40,000/year. Amazing huh? And I have to say they did an amazing job. My siblings and I were among the first generation in our family to graduate with university degrees. I graduated with University Honors in 2 Bachelor degrees in Nursing and Family and Child Studies, and 2 minors in Chemistry and Biology. And here I am, a registered nurse currently working at one of the top hospitals in the nation and on my way to medical school. Well let me be the first to tell you it wasn’t all rainbows and blue skies. But I wouldn’t be here today without God, family and a few of my closest friends to keep me on the straight and narrow.