The Single Life-Embrace it

Here we go (eyes rolling). I’ve been single for about 7-8 years so let me tell you, I think I’ve mastered. If you want to know all the hotspots, travel destinations etc., I am your girl. I’ve been single most of my life and the only “real” (I use this term very loosely) relationship I had ended after 3 years of “off again” and “on again”. Nonetheless I’ve been on this journey discovering me. How can you have a meaningful relationship if you don’t even know who you really are? I was fresh out of high school and thought I was in love (lol I was so naïve). That was one of the things I struggled with especially being so young. I had an idea of who I wanted to be, but that was a long way away from the person I actually was. There isn’t any manual written on how to be the perfect person so don’t waste your time. We are all beautifully imperfect and flawed in some way. However, we don’t have to dwell on this but can use it as motivation to be the best version of ourselves. What better time than the present time, while you’re single. You can take as much time or as little time as you want on discovering things that are important to you. Your likes, dislikes, things that really irritate you and things you know you may need to work on. Yes, absolutely there will be times when you get lonely and then find yourself downloading the tinder app. (been there done that), but don’t stay in this moment. Loneliness can lead to desperation. Desperation can cloud our judgment and make you alter things that are genuinely important to you just for the sake of entertaining a man/woman. He/she may even be a good guy/girl but if you have to change who you really are or the things that are important to you, it won’t be worth it. In the end you’ll end up falling in love with a person who can’t truly make you happy because you can’t connect on a level you should be able to. So save yourself the heartache and wasted years. Learn to be comfortable with yourself, that way when that man/woman does come along you won’t be acting out of desperation but on a true connection. So what to do with all this free time? Any and everything, that’s the beauty of it. Travel, read, work on your relationship with God, pick up a hobby, and continue to prepare yourself for when the right person does come along. Ladies if you can’t cook this would be a great time to take some cooking lessons (I’m sure that future husband would appreciate it). Men, us women love a man who can teach us a thing or two. So take this time to read up on something you like. And please I beg you please don’t put a time limit on your love life. It’ll be a distraction because you’ll be so focused on trying to fulfill that deadline. He/she will come in your own perfect timing. So don’t compare yourself to that friend who just got married, everyone has a different love story and yours will be epic!

3 thoughts on “The Single Life-Embrace it”

  1. So, I’m some what of the opposite. I’m never single…. Nor do I ever want to be single. I’d like to think I’m a pretty attractive guy and even tho I usually have options I prefer 1 significant other to hopefully spend the rest of my life with. I read your blog on free will as well and I guess I’ve invested a lot into the wrong women. With so many good women out there why do I end up with the bad apples? I have a great career and I take care of my responsibilities, I just don’t understand why I have trouble finding a soulmate / life partner.

    1. There isn’t anything wrong with not wanting to be alone. I mean that is why God made Eve, so Adam wouldn’t have to be. As far as the “bad apples” some can be due to trial and error. But you can’t attract what you aren’t either (no pun intended). Meaning you may be all these great things but we all have things that we need to work on. Something that worked for me was getting feedback from my family and closest friends. It is around the people you are the closest to that your true self is revealed. There were things I never knew I did but multiple people brought to my attention. This is only helpful if the people you’re asking have sincere intentions. And don’t be so scared to be single for some time because that may cause you to settle. Settling is like snacking when you’re really due for a meal…it’s a temporary fix but you’ll never be fulfilled

    2. One thing I’ve come to know, is like attracts like… You stated you consider yourself an attractive person, could it be that you are attracting women based on the outward appearance? Not saying all beautiful women are empty or messed up inside, but if you take time and get to know these women before getting into what sounds like a “situationship”, they will show you who they truly are. And when they show you, believe them! During your singleness, take time to really figure out what it is you want and don’t settle for nothing less than that. I’m a firm believer in God and I run every thing concerning my life by him (via prayer). Wouldn’t hurt to ask him for some concrete direction when it comes to relationships!

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