“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers”- 2nd Corinthians 6:14.
👀 About that…Yes I have dated outside my beliefs. And for all my Pharisees that are so quick to judge please review John 8:7 and Matthew 7:5. Thanks. “We now return you back to your regularly scheduled program”. It was during one of my “lonely” phases. You know, that phase I mentioned to not linger in because it can lead to desperation. Well yeah, I said that because I’ve been there. Nothing meaningful can ever come from Tinder, I should’ve known lol (don’t believe the inflated 2% success rates😂). I won’t go into the full details of this relationship but the point is we didn’t have the same beliefs. I am a Christian and it is something that is very important to me. That being said it was hard dating this guy because he wanted no part in this aspect of my life. So I prayed for him, invited him to church, etc.; but I’ve never been in a “relationship” with anyone (I mean any relationship: friendship, romantic, etc.) and felt more alone. That part of me was suppressed around him, not because I was ashamed but because it got to a point of understanding where I wouldn’t push my beliefs on him as long as he didn’t push his off on me. And that’s when I knew it would never work out. I can’t be with anyone who alters the things that are a part of me or simply wants nothing to do with it. Basically instead of listening I had to learn the hard way, through experience. Your relationship should further your walk with God not hinder it. So be careful, because desperation has the power to bring you to a point where you won’t even recognize who you are anymore. Stand firm on God’s word and true to yourself it’ll save you from a lot of unnecessary heartache.
Here we go (eyes rolling). I’ve been single for about 7-8 years so let me tell you, I think I’ve mastered. If you want to know all the hotspots, travel destinations etc., I am your girl. I’ve been single most of my life and the only “real” (I use this term very loosely) relationship I had ended after 3 years of “off again” and “on again”. Nonetheless I’ve been on this journey discovering me. How can you have a meaningful relationship if you don’t even know who you really are? I was fresh out of high school and thought I was in love (lol I was so naïve). That was one of the things I struggled with especially being so young. I had an idea of who I wanted to be, but that was a long way away from the person I actually was. There isn’t any manual written on how to be the perfect person so don’t waste your time. We are all beautifully imperfect and flawed in some way. However, we don’t have to dwell on this but can use it as motivation to be the best version of ourselves. What better time than the present time, while you’re single. You can take as much time or as little time as you want on discovering things that are important to you. Your likes, dislikes, things that really irritate you and things you know you may need to work on. Yes, absolutely there will be times when you get lonely and then find yourself downloading the tinder app. (been there done that), but don’t stay in this moment. Loneliness can lead to desperation. Desperation can cloud our judgment and make you alter things that are genuinely important to you just for the sake of entertaining a man/woman. He/she may even be a good guy/girl but if you have to change who you really are or the things that are important to you, it won’t be worth it. In the end you’ll end up falling in love with a person who can’t truly make you happy because you can’t connect on a level you should be able to. So save yourself the heartache and wasted years. Learn to be comfortable with yourself, that way when that man/woman does come along you won’t be acting out of desperation but on a true connection. So what to do with all this free time? Any and everything, that’s the beauty of it. Travel, read, work on your relationship with God, pick up a hobby, and continue to prepare yourself for when the right person does come along. Ladies if you can’t cook this would be a great time to take some cooking lessons (I’m sure that future husband would appreciate it). Men, us women love a man who can teach us a thing or two. So take this time to read up on something you like. And please I beg you please don’t put a time limit on your love life. It’ll be a distraction because you’ll be so focused on trying to fulfill that deadline. He/she will come in your own perfect timing. So don’t compare yourself to that friend who just got married, everyone has a different love story and yours will be epic!
Where do I start? I find myself asking this question more than I care to really know the answer to. In relation to Life there are so many options. We have this thing called free will and while it’s a beautiful thing I sometimes feel that it’s a curse. God created these beautiful creatures of all different colors and textures and then he gave us free will. But when you actually take it in “FREE WILL”, it’s terrifying. This means that everything that presents to you in life, you have a choice on which path to take, and there will be many crossroads to come. This means when something goes terribly wrong in your life it’s probably because of a choice we made. So now we actually have to own up to being flawed. Well that has never been fun. Yes, it is scary but somehow even with the terrible choices we make, something beautiful forms with every mistake, every heartache, every wrong turn. What is it you ask? Lessons, and it is these lessons that shape and mold us into the people we are today and who we will become tomorrow. It shapes our characters, the people we will be to our family, friends, co-workers, and our spouses. No the process of becoming these amazingly wise people isn’t always fun but it is necessary. So this is my story, all my wrong turns, heartaches, and failures. I grew up on the Southside of Chicago in low-socioeconomical neighborhoods. We were evicted almost every year but my parents went above and beyond to take care of 4 children with less than 40,000/year. Amazing huh? And I have to say they did an amazing job. My siblings and I were among the first generation in our family to graduate with university degrees. I graduated with University Honors in 2 Bachelor degrees in Nursing and Family and Child Studies, and 2 minors in Chemistry and Biology. And here I am, a registered nurse currently working at one of the top hospitals in the nation and on my way to medical school. Well let me be the first to tell you it wasn’t all rainbows and blue skies. But I wouldn’t be here today without God, family and a few of my closest friends to keep me on the straight and narrow.